Friday, October 28, 2011

Long overdue update

How amazing that it has been nearly 5 months since I updated this blog.  My how time flies!  I realize that the reason I don't post that often here is that I post via the Weekly Messages.  By the time I get that done every week it just feels redundant to post that same info here.  Still, there are times when something just doesn't fit the weekly message so it gets done here.

Seems I'm at the end of another mission--my second.  The signs (I've learned to look for them) are all around me.  The most significant is that I just feel done with teh weekly messages.  They were my assignment for almost 3 years.  My brother's untimely death also figured into my decision to withdraw for a while...I just felt kicked in the stomach and didn't have the energy to do anything but cry.  Yesterday, the 27th was the 3 month anniversary of his passing.  The pain is still so intense. 

So, I sit in a void...with no idea where to go from here.  Sometimes I get scared because without focusing energy on the business side of this mission, my income has been cut more than half.  I find myself once again winging it on faith that everything will be okay.  I've been through this before. 

I find myself asking my guides, "What's my next step, my next assignment and mission?"  I get no answer.  This is my time to feel, to go inside and allow myself to purge all the pain.  I gotta say I don't find it easy.  I'm a doer.  Still, I know if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, feeling any fears or other feelings as they come up, not pushing them away, I will find the next door.  I'll get there.

Well meaning people tell me, you need write another book.  Honestly, the thought of doing that is more than i can bear.  That is the last thing I want to do.  Besides, what would I write about?  I feel like I've said it all through teh weekly messages, picking up the story of my second book where it left off and telling it week by week through the messages.  That's better than a book, I think.  But, having said all that, I will remain open to the idea cause it may be my next step...ya just never know!

Oh, I just realized that maybe I need to do an update on Jonathan and I.  I have not fully explored that and many people have asked me about him.  It's a great story.

So, that's it.  I'll sit here at the coffee shop and play a few computer games.  Got this membership with BigFish games and have gotten into playing games...it's fun and my inner child really loves it...especially the time management/strategy games.  My favorite is the Chocolatier series...I've played them all and eagerly await the next one.  I'm gonna buy stock in that company one day.

On a related note, with Elenin's graceful passing, I feel very good about the future.  I feel we are poised to see a shift in this world that will astound everyone.  I don't see the demise of the global economy or catatrophic earth changes and a pole shift caused by Nibiru's imminent passing.  Nibiru's passing will be almost as much of a nonevent as her messenger, Elenin.  I am excited that all of our efforts, our missions and the sacrifices we've made to complete them is finally paying off.  Yep, I see a bright future and I'm not buying into stocking food and preparing for rough times. I put no energy into that thoughtform.  Instead, I'm already planning home improvement projects for 2012 and looking forward to seeing the daffodils, tulips and hyacinth bloom in spring.