Still in limbo--waiting for the big "Shift"

Been writing in the weekly messages about how it feels we are in limbo waiting for the world to go through the big shift...after all it is 2012.  We are still waiting but things are now moving.  When I look at the world scene I see currencies changing in ways that we have not seen in a while.  The Euro, which was tanking, is not stablized--out of the blue!  I realize that the IMF has chagned the rules for valuing currencies moving from fiat to equity based.  This is part of a new finacial system that right now includes over 140 countries.  This system will replace the old one and be beneficual to us all.  Iraq is now revaluing, and coming out of Chapter 7 after 10 years.  So this may be the week when everything falls into place.  We will see!

Long overdue update

How amazing that it has been nearly 5 months since I updated this blog.  My how time flies!  I realize that the reason I don't post that often here is that I post via the Weekly Messages.  By the time I get that done every week it just feels redundant to post that same info here.  Still, there are times when something just doesn't fit the weekly message so it gets done here.

Seems I'm at the end of another mission--my second.  The signs (I've learned to look for them) are all around me.  The most significant is that I just feel done with teh weekly messages.  They were my assignment for almost 3 years.  My brother's untimely death also figured into my decision to withdraw for a while...I just felt kicked in the stomach and didn't have the energy to do anything but cry.  Yesterday, the 27th was the 3 month anniversary of his passing.  The pain is still so intense. 

So, I sit in a void...with no idea where to go from here.  Sometimes I get scared because without focusing energy on the business side of this mission, my income has been cut more than half.  I find myself once again winging it on faith that everything will be okay.  I've been through this before. 

I find myself asking my guides, "What's my next step, my next assignment and mission?"  I get no answer.  This is my time to feel, to go inside and allow myself to purge all the pain.  I gotta say I don't find it easy.  I'm a doer.  Still, I know if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, feeling any fears or other feelings as they come up, not pushing them away, I will find the next door.  I'll get there.

Well meaning people tell me, you need write another book.  Honestly, the thought of doing that is more than i can bear.  That is the last thing I want to do.  Besides, what would I write about?  I feel like I've said it all through teh weekly messages, picking up the story of my second book where it left off and telling it week by week through the messages.  That's better than a book, I think.  But, having said all that, I will remain open to the idea cause it may be my next step...ya just never know!

Oh, I just realized that maybe I need to do an update on Jonathan and I.  I have not fully explored that and many people have asked me about him.  It's a great story.

So, that's it.  I'll sit here at the coffee shop and play a few computer games.  Got this membership with BigFish games and have gotten into playing games...it's fun and my inner child really loves it...especially the time management/strategy games.  My favorite is the Chocolatier series...I've played them all and eagerly await the next one.  I'm gonna buy stock in that company one day.

On a related note, with Elenin's graceful passing, I feel very good about the future.  I feel we are poised to see a shift in this world that will astound everyone.  I don't see the demise of the global economy or catatrophic earth changes and a pole shift caused by Nibiru's imminent passing.  Nibiru's passing will be almost as much of a nonevent as her messenger, Elenin.  I am excited that all of our efforts, our missions and the sacrifices we've made to complete them is finally paying off.  Yep, I see a bright future and I'm not buying into stocking food and preparing for rough times. I put no energy into that thoughtform.  Instead, I'm already planning home improvement projects for 2012 and looking forward to seeing the daffodils, tulips and hyacinth bloom in spring. 

CFS and Fibromyalgia: When the illness is not an excuse.

Been renting 2 of the 3 bedrooms used for workshop clinets to longer term renters.  Made the decision to do so after the economy changed and people stopped traveling as much.  I've been doing the long tern renting for about 2 years and it has gone well for the most part.  Found that after my dad died I no longer want to live alone.

Took on a renter in March that had Fibromyalgia (Fibro).  Having had it myself I felt I could help this person get well much faster thanks to all that I learned through my own healing. Well, I found that that was a mistake.  It wasn't long before the challenges inherent in Fibro and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) began to create tension. The challenges were two fold.  First there was the lack of boundaries and thus the inability to recognize those boundaries for others.  The second was that my new roomie was young (early 20s).  This girl (I'll call her Mary),was in full blown Fibronyalgia. 

Now, I have house agreements that everyone reads before they rent from me. Tney are mostly just common sense agreements such as cleaning up after yourself, turning off lights and locking doors when you leave...nothing out of the ordinary.  There is also an agreement to clear any issue that occurs within 24 hours--not sulking and freezing others out when one is angry.

There's usually a settling in period of about 2 weeks when a new roomie learns how the house is run. Most of the time, I ony have to point out a few things such as what leaving the kitchen as you found it looks like.  Unfortunately Mary's fibro, lack of life experience, combined with a lack of boundaries made this time very difficult.  The result was extreme moodiness, sulking, and passive/agressive actions when she was angry with me. 

Though it bothered me, I was much more concerned by  something else I discovered.  I realized, after running the sales numbers (I work from home) for that first month, that having Mary in my home was costing me  ore than the nominal rent I was charging.  I'll explain.

When we wake up in the morning, we immediately begin making withdrawals from our energy account (an energetic account that we each have that contains the amount of life force we are able to take in each day).  These withdrawals are based on supporting all the things we own and all the relationships we have.  I found myself making a larger than normal withdrawal for Mary each morning because I was constantly on high alert.  High alert is what we experience when we live with someone who is regularly unbalanced either physically, mentally or emotionally. 
I was waking up each day already stressed and concerned about what I was going to have to deal with with Mary and that consumed a big portion of my energy account.  Money flows and grows when there is excess energy in reserve in our energy account...I was overdrawn every single day that Mary lived here. 

As I said, doing the end of the month accounting showed me what I had been feeling and that really hit home.  I had to move Mary out  if I wanted to get my life back in balance.  Fortunately she had already asked to break her lease so that part was easy.  It cost me almost  a months rent and that didn't feel good but, on the other hand, I would have lost a lot more had she stayed. 

Having experienced living with someone with these illnesses gave me a better understanding of what my family went through with me, especially my husband, Jonathan when I was ill.  I wish now I had apologized for the energetic sacrifice they had had to pay for putting up with me.  I also realize now that my behavior, some of which was downright ugly was not excusable, especially the passive/aggressive stuff.  Now I realize that I sometimes made life very difficult and the imbalances in created for them were hard to bear.  Thanks, Mary for showing me this. Lesson learned! 

Bin Laden's Death

Like so many other world events, I watch them unfold while observing my intuitive response.  When I learned of Bin Laden's death, knowing what I know, I felt concerned.  I felt that this is a cover or distraction for something else.  My initial thought was, What shoe will drop?  In other words it feels as though this event is a precursor to something we will dread...yes...that's it.  I feel a sense of dread.  I feel they are going to use this as a way increase security restrictions so that they can completely imprison us.  This may be the way the finally lock the gates on the American people, pulling off what they have failed to be able to do since 9/11.  They, of course, are the Global Elite.  Their intention is to enslave humanity and microchip them to a massive computer.  9/11 was supposed to bring that about but the plan failed becuase Americans didn't respond as expected.  Instead, we reacted with compassion or at least enough to spoil their plan.  We reacted with suspicion, smelling the proverbial rat.  We could not be convinced to begin a war.

Now, I beleive they will use Bin Laden's death and the "threat of retaliation" as an excuse to bring about micro chipping and all other extreme security measures.  We will be forced to live in a police state--now in the open--as Germans did in WWII.  Kiss any remaining illusion of freedom good bye.

Okay, that's my 3D response.  Now, for a higher perspective....stepping into my god self, I see this event and the new security threat and soon to be im posed measures as an accerlation of the Game.  In other words, we've been idling for a while waiting for the Dark to make it's next move.  Now they are moving and rather quickly.  We have less than 2 years to 2012....this move on their part will accelerate the emtional clearing requred to get us to the level needed to create a better world on the other side of our equatorial crossing at the end of 2012.  So, the Dark is once again serving the Light.  Let's get it on!

(2/3) Comet Elenin is orbiting along with Planet X/Nibiru/Brown Dwarf St...

Though the video is a bit rough, the information is wonderful. Explains how Comet Elenin is affecting Earth and how an exact alignment with it along with Nibiru, has occurred on the same days as the earthquakes in Chile, Japan and New Zealand and volcanoes is Hawaii and other areas. What's occurring is that Nibiru's powerful magnetic pull is literally pulling at the tectonic plates around the "ring of fire." You could liken it to a strong magnet pulling on a metal plate causing anything on it's surface to move.

First Galactic Counselor Training in Years!

Something is afoot because I'm training my first potential galactic counselor in a while.  Angela is from Los Angeles, CA.  You could say she was "guided" here by some very powerful Beings for this training.  Seem it is her next step.  Being used to having unexpected directional changes I said, "Okay." 

So far it has been great.  The thought occurred to me this morning to blog about this training...each day Angela and I would write about our expereinces...some of which have been well....amazing!

Day 1 - spent the dragging myself around because I had not had any sleep the night before.  Didn't get to sleep until 4am.  This, we later learned was meant to be.  This training would be far different than the previous ones and I needed to download the info.  That required I be "put  to sleep" during to the day.  Doing so means that I will more easily retain it because being the afternoon, I won't go back to sleep...in which case, some of it could be lost. 

Why they are doing things differently is still is unclear.   The lesson today was about signs.  We marveled at how the Guides brought this lesson about.  I'll let Angela explain it...sooooo amazing.

Angela here -- When I came down for breakfast, I was met by Lucy the Beagle who wanted to talk.  I have recently discovered that animals and I communicate rather freely, though thus far it has mainly been with the furry creatures in my own household.  As I sat with Lucy on the floor, I silently asked her what she liked to do.  I received an image of a squirel and what I thought was a beaver (later to be corrected -- gopher!).  It then came to me to ask her why she doesn't seem to like her new sister, Cleo.  Immediately the reply was that she now has to do things she didn't prior to Cleo's arrival, such as working for her food and having to "wait."

At this point, Jelaila arrived in the kitchen and after confirming Lucy's interest in squirels and gophers, conversation turned to the animals in my household.  Now, let me preface this by saying that I am an only child who was raised in a household with one dog and perhaps an occasional rabbit or goldfish.  I've always liked animals, but never recognized any special connection with them.  Well, now I have five cats and five puppies -- all that have more or less arrived over the past two years.  When the first of these critters began to present themselves in my life, I embraced the idea of having a diversified household...but the numbers began to grow.  Often I'd have just wrapped my head and life around a new four-legged friend, when my Guides began to vigorously direct me to yet another.

I wrestled with old conventions of what it meant in a 3D world to have this many animals and what it could look like to others who don't know me.  The more I let go and accepted that my Guides wouldn't be doing this without a much greater purpose, I was able to relax and embrace the transformation of my home.  I certainly couldn't complain -- the cats (almost all under the age of 1.5 years) are mellow and loving both with me and each other; the dogs (all under the age of one), while needing guidance, are obedient and open...and everyone gets along!

And, while I have been learning life lessons right and left while living with all of these creatures, I, until today, didn't understand the greater picture.  As Jelaila and I spoke this morning, the lightbulb went on in Jelaila's head!  When I arrived at her home yesterday, I had mentioned that I had just been informed that I was part of a collective...and thus there it was, the set-up with all of the signs.  It all fell into place and made my heart soar to final understand!!!  I know this is only the tip of the iceberg, but a wonderful lesson in obedience and trust.

Further note about my discussion with Lucy:  when Jelaila and I parted for a rest a bit later, I was lying on my bed listening to a Tom Kenyon toning track.  Images and messages were passing through my thought, and suddenly there was Lucy wanting to finish our discourse.  I asked her what it would take for her to accept Cleo -- it was to not have to do all the "extra stuff" any longer.  I promised to tell her mom.

A bit later, when reviewing the training manual and Guide agreements, I had a visit from Jelaila's Guide, Devin.  He said it was very important for me to tell Jelaila about my conversation with Lucy.  And so, that's what I did.  I'll let Jelaila finish the lesson....

Waiting for the daffodils--my symbol of hope

Spring is one of my favorite seasons because it symbolizes hope--hope for the future, that the sun will shine and there will be a tomorrow.  Hope for me is symbolized by daffodils...my favorite flower. 

I recall them in my mother's garden as a child.  Each Spring they popped their pretty heads out of the ground, cheerfully turning their bright yellow faces to the sun.  Seeing them out my bedroom window in the morning and after a long day as school, lifted my heart and warmed my soul.  In a time when life seemed so lonely, they were there to remind me that life would and could get better. 

Each spring I eagerly await my little signs of hope, in some ways they seem to me to be a lifeline to happiness and a brighter tomorrow.

What happened to this blog?

Well--I'm ashamed that I haven't posted to this blog in over a month.  What happened?  Life...so many things to keep up with..  Social media is great but can be overwelming for me.  Also, it depends on what's going on with me...is it something I want to share with the world.  I find that I'm more likely to share it through my weekly message.  But with all that said, I'll give this blog another shot.  I notice I do feel good when I get a post up. 

Thanksgiving Thoughts...

It's funny how you can have so many plans for a holiday and then they all fall through.  That's okay, having some time alone after a long year of travel is good.  Today I'm thinking of the things I am grateful for.  What are you thankful for?

Another Lull....where's next year's assignment!

Is it me or are we in another lull...meaning that it appears the energy has stopped the accelerated movement of the past couple of months.  Can't help but wonder if it is due to things being in "creation" mode.  If that is the case then we must simply be patient and wait for what is being created to manifest.  I must confess that I have a hard time with this especially when it involves the whole of the coming year. 

If you are like me a starseed/walk-in with a mission, this is the time of year when we receive next year's assignment.  I usually have a good idea what is will be by now but not this year.  I'm still waiting....how about you?

HCG Diet Update - October 19, 2010

With at least 6 clients and friends now using the HCG protocol as a result of my blog posts, I thought it would be a good idea to give an update, as well as, share what I've learned. 

I've now finished Phase 2 of my second round of HCG.  Am down another 5 pounds; not the 10 I had intended to release.  So, I wasn't as successful weight loss wise as I was on my first round.  The reason--something they don't tell you--is that I hit an emotional wall about 7 days into the round.  Within those bloated fat cells we hold emotions....those that caused us to put on the weight in the first place.  I hit what seemed like several layers of old pain and was totally surprised.  After a few days of consistent cheating on my diet--even with firm resolve not to--I realized my inner child was literally yelling at me.  It was as though she was saying, "I'm scared to let go of these layers, Mom!  I still need them cause I don't believe you can protect me."

The location of this fat is around my joints--knees, ankles and especially elbows and the backs of my upper arms around my elbows.  When I tuned in and talked with Jessie, asking her to show me an image of an event that caused her to store fat on my elbows she responded immediately.  I saw myself back in 1992, standing in my apartment racked with emotional pain.  I had just come back from the hospital where my then 4 year old daughter had endured a sexual assault exam.  As they probed her I felt she was being assaulted all over again.  When they were done, I took her home.  I had just checked in on her and had walked back into the living room.  Looking out as the setting sun from my living room window, I broke down and began sobbing.  All the tears, the pain and fear of what had happened to her, to us finally got the best of me.  I had had to be strong for my little girl but as I wrapped my arms around myself, I remember so desperately wanting someone to hold me, to be there for me...and there was no one. 

Remembering that moment opened the doors, or rather flood gates to other memories, each one revealing yet another moment when I needed someone to be there for me.  Needless to say, it was profound.  

Afterward, I had other memories surface during the next 12 days.  With each one, instead of resisting them as I had done before learning these tools (the Keys of Compassion) I allowed the old feelings to wash over me, assuring my Inner Child that letting the pain come up would serve us better than keeping it down. I let her know that I wanted to let the pain go and no longer needed her to keep it at bay. The release was slow at first, as though she didn't quite trust me and so was only letting up small amounts at a time.  I realized that I couldn't expect her to trust me but now I had an opportunity to earn that trust.  Each time I felt another wave, I tuned in and talked with her.  There were several times I just held myself, seeing myself holding her.  Many tears flowed and sometimes days filled with profound, overwhelming sadness passed as we felt each loss, each moment I had felt abandoned when I found myself alone trying to deal with a crises.  I realized that the way others treated me was how I had treated my Inner Child.  The fact that no one had been there for me when I needed it, was a mirror of who I had not been there for her.  I had put others' needs ahead of my own and used energy that my Inner Child needed to keep up healthy on others.  How true that the way others treat us is a mirror of how we treat our Inner Children!

Finally the pain was gone and I felt I had come through a 14 day storm.  Unfortunately I was near the end of my 23 days of injections and therefore didn't have enough time back on the diet to make a difference.  Still, I felt it had been a success because I was able to clear the pain that had caused me to gain the weight.  In fact, I was able to pinpoint when I began gaining and developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome shortly after the crisis explained above. 

Having cleared those layers, I've been able to stay within 2 pounds of my final weight.  I'm doing good and feel somehow renewed after my clearing.  I'll begin after the December Emotional Clearing workshop.

For those of you who are on HCG or contemplating it, keep in mind that if you hit a wall and begin sabotaging yourself, you've simply hit some layers of pain that need to be cleared before your Inner Child will feel safe letting the weight go.

Reflections on Project Camelot Interview

It's 7:30 pm and already dark outside as I sit at my favorite coffee shop drinking a cup of joe and reflecting on today's interview.  I have to say that I woke this morning with a case of the jitters...I get them before every event that I know the Nibiruans are observing.  I can almost feel them peering through the dimensions to observe me....hmmmm...

The interview started a bit late and that was good because I was rushing to complete the final touches on the webpage for the new Emotional Clearing Workshop by Skype and wanted to get that off my list before we began.  Kerry was pleasant and I have to say a good host and interviewer.  One thing that  perplexes me is a show host who asks me a question and then continues talking sometimes answering it him/herself.  I just sit there and chuckle to myself.  Of course this information tends to make even the most experienced host carry on a bit....at least I've found that to be the case after a decade of interviews.

We covered a lot of ground starting with the usual...how I got started in this work and then moving on to the controversial topic of the Nibiruans themselves.  Yep, when she began talking about the Nibs I could feel them moving in to hear every word!  Needless to say I chose my words carefully.

Thanks to Kerry's interviewing skills...I was really quite impressed....I was able to explain how the Nibiruans' family name was hijacked by Marduk when he defected from the family to work with the group behind the Global Elite.  I knew the Nibiruans want that information to get out and yet they realize that only those who really want to step out of victimhood will do the research to find out what occurred way back when they were on earth.  Sometimes I feel it is a hopeless endeavor but I persevere anyway.

The interview went along great until we began talking about Marduk...suddenly we began having communication problems.  I could not hear Kerry and thought she nor the audience could hear me.  The problem cleared up when we moved on to another topic but not completely.  It again kicked into high gear when we returned to the topic of that infamous Nibiruan.  Interesting......

The main points the Nibs wanted made were that it is all fine and good to talk about who is doing what, bringing the hidden agendas to light but in the end they are just repeats of ancient conflicts. What matters now is not to play them out to the same conclusion and cost ourselves another planet.   They wanted teh listeners to know that we need to focus on teh solution more than anything else.  I was able to speak of how that would look (a more organized and concerted effort to create conferences and teleconferences where teh whistleblowers speak first and then when the people are reeling from that info, the "integrators" follow up with what to do with all that anger and hoplessness.  I explained that we had gotten to 5D on the previous worlds but never beyond it because when the truth came out the people freaked. Without any tools to integrate the anger, rage, helplessness and hopelness they acted as they had done before, they pulled out their guns and began firing away.  The planets were destroyed through scalar warfare.

I was able to explain that compassion was the answer and not only that, the way to move beyond the wars and destruction that will occur on the 3D earth.  Like the initiates in ancient Egypt learned when they had to jump into the crocodile pit at Kom Ombo; the way is not to try to kill all the gaters, or swim towards the door they could see with their physical eyes, it was to go inward and swim towards the door they could only see with their 3rd eye.  We cannot kill all the Global Elite or put an end to their plans, after all it is their role to play in this ascenion process.  The answer it to go within, clear our baggage, end our own inner wars, and tune our frequency up and out of here.  We have the perfect opportunity to do it coming in just over 2 years.

I hope the Nibiruans were satisfied with the interview....time will tell, eh?

http://www.projectcamelotportal.com/
interview link: http://data.argusoog.org/radio/2010/ArgusoogRadio-20100910-ProjectCamelot.mp3

Emotional Typhoon of the August Full Moon

Woke up this morning feeling like I'd survived a typhoon of emotion.  Yesterday was the last day of the full moon and the energy had been building.   It's as if it was supercharged and like a huge etheric mixer, dipped its beaters into the pain I had been carrying and was sitting just beneath the surface. 

It began with a feeling irritable then as the morning wore on, the energy seem to amp up and my repressed feelings right along with it.  By 11am the pain literally engulfed me.  Before I knew it I was hitting a chair in my walk-in closet with a shirt, cussing and just...well...felt ready to explode!  (I was supposed to be ironing.)

One of the things that was causing me pain was a gut feeling that Gracie, the dog I had rehomed several months ago was not doing well. I had had concerns the night I agreed to let her go because I hadn't checked out the home where she would be living.  I had made the decison to let her go to this couple who arrived that evening, driving 40 miles in the pouring rain to see her.  They seemed so right...with 2 boys who would be have to give Gracie the play she wanted.  And she was really being adopted by the wife who had lost her Dachsund the year before.  I like Carey's (her name) energy and felt that she would love Gracie as I did. 

So, with teh pain and the concern now at a maximum, I decided to call this couple to check on Gracie and to take a trip to Ottowa, 40 miles south of Kansas City, to visit her.  I needed to put my mind and heart at rest about my decision.  Long story short, the phone number was no longer any good and the address wasn't eaither.  In fact, Roger, the husband, had given me an address at which they had not lived for over a year!  Now I was really freaked, my stomach in turmoil as thoughts of Gracie being abused grew and grew in my head.  All my feelings of being a bad mom, of not caring enough came rushing to the surface and I just wanted to cry.  What had I done to my little Gracie Mai?

You can imagine how the evening went...I sat around feeling traumatized by my feelings.  Finally decided to go upstairs to my room...just bought a new little rocker recliner that serves as the place where I mull over things, talk with my guides and do counseling sessions.  Eventaully I was able to calm donw and think things through.  I called on my soul to help me.  "Please help me understand what this is about.  Is Gracie really in trouble?  if so, you're gonna have to help me find her cause all my efforts failed." (I had even ordered a background check online to find Roger and Carey's latest address but it turned up nothing.  I had hit a dead end at every turn.)  "If she needs me, send me a sign and a way to find her.  I'm letting go now and leaving her in your hands."

this morning I woke up and felt lighter...I felt that Gracie was okay and I had overreacted. the reason was that I did not hold my boundary about checking out the potential adopter's home before agreeing to let Gracie go to that family.  Many things had transpired that day that brought me to that point.  Suffice it to say that by the time the couple showed up, I was ready to toss my need for extra due diligence to the wind.  So the pain was from not knowing where she was and not having done my homework to ensure that I knew.   In other words, I didn't take care of myself by ensuring that I could be and remain at peace with my choice of a new family.  So, my Inner Child was really pushing that point; she felt I had let her down by not ensureing we knew where Gracie was, and with the help of the full moon's amped up energy, she was able to dial up the pain meter to the point it grabbed my full attention!  She certainly accomplished that!

Today, I understand it better.  I needed to release that pain...it had been with me since last February when I let Gracie go.  Carrying that was not helping her or me and my soul knew that.  So she used the energy fo the full moon and my Inner Child's need to express her feelings about it to bring it to the surface for clearing.  My friend, Julie said as we talked this morning by phone, "Maybe you are clearing for all mothers."  I think she may have a point there.  Each time any of us mothers clear our pain around our mothering we help all mothers.  Thanks Julie.

A walk down memory lane.

Today I dropped a couple of sessoin recordings by a client's office.  Her office is in the same building where mine was when I owned Creative Referral Networks.  though I drive by the building numerous times during the week, I've not been inside since 1996.   In August of that year, I packed my things and moved out leaving the business to my assistant.  I recall how frightened I was to leave not only my business but a great career and my reputation behind.  I was leaving to become a psychic/counselor after having spent 6 long years building a networking business. 

Walking down the hall, I noticed how hard it was not to cry as I peeked into the office suite that had once been mine.  I could almost smell the fresh coffee brewing just as it had so many mornings as I walked through the door.  Marla, my assistant was already there.

Walking further down the long hall towards the end where the management office for the office suite I orignally had was located, I peeked into the reception room and saw the daycare across the parking lot.  it was a La Petite and I chose a one-room office that overlooked it so I could see my then 3 year-old daughter playing in teh playground.  Additionally, I could pop in and see how she was doing during the day.

Suddenly the pain of those years and all that was lost washed over me and again I fought back the tears.  They were beautiful years but isn't funny how we tend to remember the pain more than the joy?  My little girl is all grown up now....

Standing in the elevator as it made its way back to the ground floor, I remembered myself standing there...smartly dressed in a busienss suit with matching high heels, perfectly manicured nails, and briefcase...thinking about the next appointment, wondering if I was going to meet the montly bills.  I wanted to be able to travel back in time and talk to that 34 year old version of myself and let her know that she could relax...that everything was going to work out just fine.  She would eventually own a house...something I so wanted for Danielle and myself back then.  I would tell her that Danielle would be okay and she would grow into a fine young woman.  I wanted to tell her that her business was simply the training ground for what she really came to this planet to do.  I wanted to tell her that she would indeed leave a legacy...again something I wanted to do even back then. 

I got off the elevator, my heart still aching, walked out to my car, got in and drove away.

Coming out of the holding pattern and feeling Jupiter's influence of expansion.

Don't know about you but I feel we are coming out of that holding pattern we were in for awhile...at least to some degree.  There's still the question about what next year's assignment will be about but money has begun flowing and I've felt a great need to get things ready for some big push...as though once it begins there won't be time for doing these things.  On the business front, I felt I needed to streamline traveling by lightening the load I must schlep around from airport to airport.  One suitcase and one carry on that holds my computer and essentials that is easy to carry and can slip onto the handle of my suitcase.  On the home front, I'm replacing doors that are so drafty in the winter and having all my windows insulated.  I sense it may be a long cold winter. 

Fortunately money is flowing again, thansk in part to good ole Juptier and some major emotional clearing.  That means paying cash for many of these things.  Oh the joys of purchasing a 20 year old home in need of having jsut about everything replaced!  I'm glad the energy is supporting anything that can save energy or make money right now. 

Two sounds I love in the morning.

Two sounds that I love in the morning....the sweet sound of your baby's laughter when you first walk into his/her room, and the wonderful gurgling sound of coffee brewing.  Though my baby girl is all grown up now, I still remember her laughter and how she would reach out her little arms for me to pick her up when I'd walk into her room in the morning.  Holding her in my arms while the enchanting aroma of fresh brewed coffee wafted up the stairs from the kitchen...it was in those moments that life seemed perfect.  I'm so grateful for them.

preparing for 2012

preparing for 2012
Hey everyone,

Here's the latest radio interview...this time with Joe Marra He is a great host and good interviewer.
We talked a lot about 2012 and the greater significance of the BP Oil spill. Check it out.

Jelaila

In a Holding Pattern

Was talking about the current energies during lunch with a friend yesterday.  It was a relief to know that I'm not the only one experiencing what I can only explain as being in a holding pattern.  My friend, Sheri said she felt as if she is waiting for something to happen.  "Like waiting for the other shoe to drop type of happening, I asked?"  "No, she replied."  I had to agree with her...I don't feel any sense of trepidation...just a sense that something is going to occur.  Guess you could say, we are in a "void of creation" and in time, we will come out of it and new things will happen...quickly.

What do you think?
PS--to post a comment click on the "comment" link below this message. 

My HCG Journal updated

Thought the previous post was getting a bit long so I'm starting my final entry as a new post.  Today I am into day 11 of Phase 2.  This is the phase where you increase calories and add more protein, fat and veggies.  There's no real limit except that you stay within 2 lbs of your weight on the last day of HCG injections (day 23).  I was at 128.6 on day 23.  So far I have maintained and that has been with a family reunion weekend!  I'm so proud!  I just decided that the birthday cakes, hamburger buns and lasagna were not worth the challenges i had faced the last 26 days so I passed them up. Instead, when I felt myself getting a craving for something sweet I turned to apples, cinnamon walnuts and coffee generously laced with heavy cream.  That did the trick.  Still, I look forward to the day when I can reintroduce good breads...I sure miss them...and certain sugars...I'd love to have a slice of home baked banana nut bread!

My HCG journal

It's funny how once you clear a big block, one in which the dysfunctional belief and subsequent behaviors had impacted your health, the means to restore your health appears.  That seems to be happening to me.  In the last year I ahve worked to clear my deeply ingrained beliefs about rescuing male partners...in fact, rescuing everyone!  So, I manifested the means to begin a fat reduction program that has left 2 of my good friends looking beautifully trim.  Not only did they lose weight, they lost more inches than weight...that's unheard of.  Additinally instead of the drawn and haggard look one normally sees when rapid weight loss occurs, their skin is soft, firm and dewy.   I'm totally amazed.  So, I'm starting this process.  It's called HCG. and was pioneered by a British doctor named Simeon over 30 years ago.  He is also the author of "Pounds and Inches."

I've found the website and book, http://www.hcgdietmadesimple.com/ by Harmony Clearwater Grace, very helpful. 

My goal is to blog my journey through my first treatment (26 days), sharing whatever comes up. both about the process and emotional challenges.  Perhaps by doing so, someone out there can benefit. 

Day 1
This is the first of 3 days in which you take an HCG injection...didn't hurt.  You also eat as much as you can...they call it loading...mostly fat filled foods.  This is done for 3 days to get one's normal fat stores built up.  This will help when the real dietary change takes place (500 calorie limit).  I'm told one does not feel hungry even with only 500 calories cause the HCG puts the body in the same state as that of pregnacy. This means the HCG will cause the hypothalamus to release a continuous supply of food into the blood stream.  To do that it will only pull from the "abnormal fat" stores rather than the normal fat stores.  This will enable a person to burn up all the excess fat that exercise and diet cannot release becuase it is has been made unavailable.  The books I mentioned above explain it all. 

Even more exciting is that the HCG treatment will heal my hypothalamus which was damaged at some time in my life and then led to my CFS and weight problems.  The idea is that at the end of this first treatment (I'll only need 1 cause I only need to lose about 20 lbs....one treatment can cause a person to lose 26 lbs in 26 days) not only will the inches and weight be gone, the hypothalamus will be healed or close to healed.  Subsequent treatments will continue that process.  That means I'll be able to eat normally again...maybe not as I did as a kid (I at like a horse and was skinny as a rail) but I won't have to bypass the foods I've done without for many years...things that made food and food shopping more of a chore than fun.

I went to Whole Foods and had the best shopping experience in many years.  I boughts foods I've not allowed myself to have since my mid 30s.  I even bought these tiny cinnamon rolls....just filled with butter and soooo yummy and had a couple with coffee.  Sooo decadent!  My inner child  was jumpin' for joy!

Day 5
Okay, the VLCD (very low calorie diet) appears to be working. No hunger even at just 500 calories a day. Lost 6 lbs so far. Feel great. Noticed the blood sugar swings I used to have are pretty much gone along with the hot flashes. Healing the hypothalamus, which controls the pituitary and thus, blood sugar and temperature is occurring!  It is my hope that this eating regimen, along with the HCG hormone will repair the damage that stress and emotional clearing, along with channeling higher dimensional guides have caused.  That is one of the reason I am posting this journal here.  I realized that after 10 years of channeling, my hypothalamus, which acts as a gateway and translator for incoming messages, gets a bit whacked from having calibrate and downstep a higher incoming message to a lower one.  No wonder I gained 20 lbs.  Guess I should be grateful that it wasn't more.  I've seen what channeling has done to other people's bodies and it isn't pretty. 

The emotional clearing also took its toll cause the stress in inherent in the process triggers cortisol the stress hormone.  When triggered consistently over a long period of time, we gain weight.  I've been through many years of emotinal clearing and it has been consistent!

Day 6
Dropped another 3 lbs.  I'm down to 133 lbs.  Yippee!   I look forward to traveling once a month doing the 2012, Nibiru, DNA and You! workshops now.  I was not looking forward to all the travel cause I didn't feel I could sustain the pace....so tired!

One of the things I had requested when asked by the 9D Nibiruans, was to get my body back.  I figured that I needed it to be in at least decent condition if I were going to continue this work for several more years.  I had been told that I would be rewarded with the things I most desired.  So far, that has occurred.  I got my daughter back, my health is being restored, have a home of my own...no more renting, and now my body is being restored.  I'm gratefully content and okay with the travel. 

Day 20
It's been a while since i updated so thought I better get to it.  I'm on the final stretch of my 26 days...only 6 more to go.  Down to 128 and that's after having plateaued at 129 for 5 days.  Traveling seems to do that especially since I had no way to weigh food or myself for that matter.  Was in New York for the 2012, Nibiru, DNA and You! workshop.  What a great group of people!

Noticed that I'm starting to get hungry cause I'm lagging on the fluids.  Found that if I drink at least 1 gallon a day I don't get hungry but I've not done that.  So tonight I'm making myself drink three 16 oz glasses.  Went to Walmart and bought 4 big plastic cups.  Knowing I only have to drink 8 of those seems less daunting that using smaller bottles.

Will see how tomorrow goes.  My goal is to get to at least 123.  If so, I won't repeat the process...besides I'm really starting to crave my coffee...can't wait till a week from Saturday...that's when I can have coffee with cream again.  I'm going to the store Friday night to stock up.  Saturday morning will be like Christmas!

One of the things this process has revealed to me is how I handle stress with food.  I noticed that I'm more likely to go for a late' than food when I'm stressed.  Interesting...